#Highly Sensitive People: Do you love yourself?

Do you love yourself? This is an appropriate question for Valentine’s Day. Do you take the time to appreciate the good qualities that you have? I know that this is the time to spread the love to others, but where does love truly start?

Think about it. When do you feel the most loving towards others? It’s when you feel good about yourself. When you are happy, you are much more inclined (and able) to give more of yourself to the people who you love. Self-love gives you clarity, patience, and the desire to share your joy. You are also better able to leverage your HSP instincts to anticipate what others need.

It’s important to notice when you feel “less than loving” towards others. This is usually a signal that there is something in yourself that needs to be examined. We often (unconsciously) project our own faults onto other people. Do your negative feelings really stem from the actions of others? Or do they arise from some deep feeling of inadequacy you have about yourself?

For example, perfectionism is a character trait that many highly sensitive people have. It’s definitely an issue for me. I have to watch myself all of the time. I expect to handle all situations “perfectly”. I then “beat” myself up when I make a mistake. Likewise, I expect others to be “perfect” too, and I get upset when they don’t meet my expectations. Is this really fair? Who am I to decide what other people should or shouldn’t do? And who is it really about? In my case, it’s really about me because I’m the one projecting my need to be “perfect” onto other people.

So how can you love yourself better? Here are some strategies:

1. Accept yourself the way you are. Have faith that you’re exactly the person you’re supposed to be in this world. You have your own unique qualities that make you who you are. There is no need to change in order to fit into another person’s concept of who you should be.

2. Understand your highly sensitive nature. That’s the purpose of my work. My company’s mission is to provide “inspiration and information” to highly sensitive people. My web site has many resources, including links to my book, Making Sense of Your High Sensitivity.The more you know about your HSP self, the more you will love and appreciate those qualities.

3. Watch what you say to yourself. Negative self talk is toxic and only draws more negativity. There is nothing to be gained from berating yourself. Remember that nobody is perfect, and mistakes help us grow.

4. Do something good for others. A little action or good deed will work wonders for your self-esteem! How would being a “hero” affect the way you feel?

The more you love yourself, the more lovable that you will be. You’ll be able to attract the love that you want.

Do you love yourself? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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3 Responses to #Highly Sensitive People: Do you love yourself?

  1. Jeffry Brown says:

    I certianly agree , the more I accept myself, the more I’m in tune with others. And it is much easier to accept them .

  2. Debra Leigh says:

    I’m told since I was a teenager that I need to start being more positive
    And to start liking myself. I’m 47and still struggle to be positive. But I try.
    Today I bought myself cinnamon hearts. I love them and I’m
    Cooking myself a roast. Today I’m celebrating me. I’ve read so many
    Positive posts. I’m glad I found this group of people. I grew up in an abusive home.
    Then I abused myself and let people abuse and control me.
    Then I found Elaine Aron’s book.
    Thanks for your positive posts. I read them all. And they’re appreciated
    Happy valentines day!

    • Cliff says:

      Happy Valentine’s Day Debra!! I’m thrilled that you’re taking the time to celebrate yourself!! Make everyday a way to celebrate yourself. Have an ongoing written list of your extraordinary qualities and accomplishments and refer to it often.

      Your past doesn’t have to be part of your future. Learn from it. There are lessons, good and bad, circumstances that will help you. You don’t deserve the abusive treatment that you’ve had in the past. Never tolerate negative treatment from others. Calmly set boundaries and don’t feel guilty about it.

      I’m glad that my posts have helped you. Are there any specific topics that you’d like me to write about? Again, Happy Debra Day!

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