Can you let go of past mistakes, people who’ve wronged you, or negative feelings developed from your childhood? I know from personal experience how difficult this is.
I’d like to share a personal story that still haunts me to this day. I made a real estate investment over twenty-five years ago. I took out a loan for a building with the intention that this investment would make my life easier in the future. It didn’t!
Everything that would’ve gone wrong did. The neighborhood had gone bad, some of my tenants didn’t pay their rent, there was a fire in the building, my insurance policy didn’t cover all of the fire damage, the building was broken into and all the copper pipes were stolen, and the legal system and the town were of no help to me.
On top of all of these problems, I still had a mortgage to pay plus all of my other expenses that included my other personal debts. This went on for over two and a half years! Talk about stress, I never thought that I would survive it.
I would’ve taken the easy way out by pleading bankruptcy. This would’ve relieved me of this tortuous situation, but would hurt my credit rating. I didn’t know what to do. It’s important to note that during this time, I didn’t know that I was highly sensitive and what this meant.
My instincts told me that whatever decision I made, would affect me, monetarily and psychologically, for the rest of my life. I decided to use my intuition, a highly sensitive person strength, and do the right thing that I could live with.
I have a strong sense of obligation to honor my commitments. I couldn’t renege on my obligation to pay the loan in full to the bank. I decided to take out a second mortgage on my house to help pay my bills and do whatever I could to sell the building. I went through two real estate agents with no results. I placed flyers all over town with no luck.
I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when a miracle thought came to my mind. I approached a business competitor on the other side of town. I didn’t know him personally, but I knew that he was a contractor who rehabilitated buildings along with his other business.
I introduced myself and he knew who I was. It turns out that I helped out a friend of his and he always spoke highly of me. I told him about the problems with the building and wanted to sell the building as is.
We went to look at the building and I explained the good possibilities that he could realize if he could do the construction work himself. I told him that I received an insurance settlement of $45,000 and would sell the building to him for a reduced price of $75,000. The total of $120,000 that I would receive would pay off my debt to the bank. He agreed and it turned out to be a good deal for the both of us.
That’s not where the story ends. Taking out a second mortgage on my home has been a financial hardship for me. I was able to pay my bills until the storm cleared, but I still have a mortgage on my home to this day.
I still have a tinge of bitterness about this experience, but I have a good feeling about myself because I was able to get through this difficult experience with my self-esteem and dignity intact. Self-validation is the best validation that you can ever have.
Many people let me down, I belittled myself for making such a horrible mistake, and I had those childhood feelings of inadequacy for being so stupid. Can anyone relate to this?
I did come out of this experience with a renewed sense of pride that although I made a mistake, I was able to persevere through it. I still have those extra mortgage payments, but I’ve forgiven myself for trying to better my life. Another lesson that I’ve learned is that real estate can be a great investment for a person whose temperament can cope with the ups and downs of this business. This wasn’t the right investment for me.
My advise to HSPs is to not get involved in something that goes against who you truly are. Use your intuition, it’s there to guide you. The best way to learn about yourself is through perpetual learning.
The answer to my question….Can you let go? For me, yes I can with all the difficulties that go along with it. Cut yourself some slack. You’re only human.
Can you let go? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.