#Highly Sensitive People: A Creed To Live By

A Creed To Live By– Nancye Sims

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you’re going. Life is not a race,
but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Copyright © 1996 Nancye Sims

Can you relate to any of these thoughts? I definitely need to remember… Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life. I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: Are you following your best career path?

Are you following your best career path? If you’re like many people, you probably aren’t. It’s extremely important for highly sensitive people to be in a career that meets their needs. These needs include being in a proper physical environment where you work with like-minded people in a comfortable setting and be in a position to utilize your strengths and interests.

Change can be a scary thing, especially when you don’t know what you really want to do or where your strengths lie. So what’s does a highly sensitive person do? You could stay in a situation that’s totally wrong for you, you can have a good enough career that pays the bills, or you can take small steps to go in a better direction.

Depending on where you are and where you want to be, you can make subtle changes without jeopardizing your current job. You might consider trying new things in your spare time and seeing what fits your personality.

Focus your energies on deciding what you like and don’t like about your current and past professions and also note what your hobbies and interests are. What are your strengths and how would you like to utilize them? It’s important to write your answers down and refer to it often. These are important clues to help clarify what you truly want.

I knew at age thirty that I couldn’t work for anyone and needed to be self-employed. I worked in a family business for nine years. It was a very difficult time! I knew that I needed to make a change.

I decided that I would make use of my experience and expertise and start my own business in a similar field. It wasn’t easy leaving a family business and dealing with the guilt and fear of starting a new venture, but I was determined to make it work. Thirty five years later, I proud to say that it worked out.

People have many “careers” throughout their lifetime. Their needs and circumstances change. I’ve been working on my next career. This has been a gradual process and have enjoyed it tremendously.

Writing has been a strength and a passion for me and I plan to do more of this in my retirement years. My book, Making Sense of Your High Sensitivity, is about my life as a highly sensitive person and the lessons that I’ve learned. I also have this Blog and a quarterly HSP newsletter. You can get more information from my website http://www.thehighlysensitiveperson.com.

The lessons I’ve learned are you need to be definite about you want to do. This might take exploring and experiencing different things before you do this. Once you have a burning desire to do something, you’ll be amazed how you overcome the difficulties that get in your way. All of your experiences, good and bad, will help you. Don’t be afraid to go above your comfort zone. It will take you places that you’ve never dreamed of! How can you expand your many possibilities if you stay in a safe place?

Your answers will come by learning as much about yourself as you can. The more you learn about yourself, the better you’ll know your wants and needs. Does this make sense? If so, how come you haven’t taken or made the time for self-reflection? Highly sensitive people have the unique capability to do so.

Are you following your best career path? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: Are you emotionally intelligent?

Are you emotionally intelligent? If so, you can use your high sensitivity to your advantage. Here’s an article by Rhett Power to shed some light on this subject.

7 Qualities of People with High Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence determines how well you do at work. Do you have the traits that define it?

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

At least that’s what Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., well-known writer and researcher on leadership who wrote the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, says. Goleman has dedicated his work to finding out what makes people successful. And, his title spoiling the surprise, he says it comes down to their emotional intelligence. That’s what drives a person to excellence.

What exactly is emotional intelligence (EI)? Psychology Today says it’s:

1. The ability to accurately identify your own emotions, as well as those of others
2. The ability to utilize emotions and apply them to tasks, like thinking and problem-solving
3. The ability to manage emotions, including controlling your own, as well as the ability to cheer up or calm down another person

The concept of emotional intelligence has been around since 1990, when Yale psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey presented the concept to the academic world. But Goleman has gone on to study it further—and he found a direct relationship between the EI of a company’s staff and the company’s success:

• Employees with a high level of EI have self-awareness that helps them understand co-workers and meet deadlines.
• When people have high EI, they are not bothered by client criticism; they remain focused on outcomes, rather than feeling offended.
• If two job candidates have similar IQs, the one with the higher EI will likely be a better fit for the company.

Like Goleman said, no amount of smarts will make up for a lack of the ever-important emotional and social abilities, especially as part of the professional world. Not sure how to recognize this essential trait? Here are seven characteristics of emotionally intelligent people:

1. They’re change agents. People with high EI aren’t afraid of change. They understand that it’s a necessary part of life—and they adapt.

2. They’re self-aware. They know what they’re good at and what they still have to learn— weaknesses don’t hold them back. They know what environments are optimal for their work style.

3. They’re empathetic. The hallmark of EI, being able to relate to others, makes them essential in the workplace. With an innate ability to understand what co-workers or clients are going through, they can get through difficult times drama free.

4. They’re not perfectionists. While extremely motivated, people with EI know that perfection is impossible. They roll with the punches and learn from mistakes.

5. They’re balanced. Their self-awareness means that they naturally know the importance of and how to maintain a healthy professional-personal balance in their lives. They eat well, get plenty of sleep and have interests outside work.

6. They’re curious. An inborn sense of wonder and curiosity makes them delightful to be around. They don’t judge; they explore the possibilities. They ask questions and are open to new solutions.

7. They’re gracious. People with high EI know every day brings something to be thankful for—and they don’t see the world as “glass half-empty” as a lot of people do. They feel good about their lives and don’t let critics or toxic people affect that.

Emotionally intelligent people know how to make work, and the world, a better place. Are you one of them?

Are you emotionally intelligent? I’d like to think that I am. I don’t have all the characteristics of an emotionally intelligent person, especially when it comes to not being a perfectionist, but being a highly sensitive person, I have many of them. Do you utilize your emotional intelligence? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: If you have a problem….

As a highly sensitive person, I get overwhelmed when I encounter a problem/problems. This poem by Bruce B. Wilmer puts problem solving in its proper perspective.

If you have a problem
That bothers you inside
And time does little to assure you
That it will subside,

Then draw upon your inner strength
And formulate a plan;
And every time you think you can’t,
Remember that you can.

Listen to your deepest voice
Where reason still remains,
And take control of your own life
To minimize the strains.

Strip away the fantasies,
The negatives, the doubts,
The anger, the hostility,
And guilt’s recurrent bouts.

Try to shift into a course
That’s positive in tone.
Communicate your feelings
So that you are not alone.

A pattern of improvement
Is the change that you’ll be winning
If you’ll just let a single step
Become a new beginning.

Bruce B. Wilmer

It’s important for me to remember to not feel that I have to solve all my problems at one time and to keep a positive and focused attitude. How do you cope with your problems? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: A letter from Mr.Rogers to my daughter

I was going through some papers and came across a letter that was dated April 1995 from Mr.Rogers to my daughter Stephanie. The letter is as follows:

Dear Stephanie,

It meant a great deal to me that you wanted to write to me as a part of your class project. I’m glad to know that our Neighborhood was a part of your growing up and that you continue to have such warm feelings about our program.

It was interesting to know about your assignment of writing to people asking them to tell you about their favorite books. You are fortunate to have a teacher who is helping you appreciate books and reading in such a personal way. I’m pleased to send you a letter about that because books have always been important to me. Reading has helped me understand more about myself, about others, and about the world around us. I especially like books about relationships. My favorite book from my childhood was THE SECRET GARDEN by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and I think I enjoyed it so much because it’s a story about how much we can help each other by caring and communicating.

Stephanie, I hope that you and your classmates will find helpful things and pleasureful things in reading all throughout your lives. Best wishes from all of us here in the Neighborhood, for your schoolwork and for whatever you do. You are special– just because you’re you!

Fred Rogers

This letter was typewritten on personal stationery and had a real signature! I suspect that Mr. Rogers was a highly sensitive person. What do you think? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: Some Highly Sensitive Thoughts to Think About

Here are some highly sensitive thoughts to think about:

(1) It’s because we are different that each of us is special.

(2) It’s by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

(3) Don’t give up when you still have something to give.

(4) By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

(5) Don’t dismiss your dreams.

(6) To be without dreams is to be without hope, to be without hope is to be without purpose.

(7) Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been but also where you’re going.

(8) Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

(9) Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past.

(10) Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others.

(11) Only you know what’s best for you.

(12) Don’t take for granted what’s truly important to you.

(13) Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.

(14) Don’t shut out love in your life by saying that it’s impossible to find.

Can you relate to any of these thoughts? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: What are the biggest obstacles to achievement?

What are the biggest obstacles for highly sensitive people for achievement? The biggest obstacles for me are fear and pessimism. Since these roadblocks originate in the mind, it’s important to examine your recurring thought patterns.

Are your thoughts usually positive, or do they tend to be negative? Do you focus on the worst that can happen? Does change frighten you? Are you open to new ways of thinking and doing things? These are important questions to answer. Unless we examine our thoughts, we can easily get trapped in old, familiar patterns that don’t serve us.

If you do get caught in a negative mindset, take the time to think about where these destructive thoughts are coming from. Consider the consequences of all possible actions, and use your intuition and logic to think things through. When you’ve made a decision, stick to it, and don’t agonize over what-ifs.

Having a “burning passion” to achieve something can you help overcome anxiety. When your desire is greater than your fears, you will move forward. Keep in mind that change doesn’t have to happen overnight. Taking small steps over a period of time is a realistic way of accomplishing your objectives.

Understand that change is a process. Like anything else, it will have its ups and downs. There’s no need to get stressed out over every setback. Make adjustments and realize that you’re getting closer to what you want.

Always be sure to celebrate your successes, whether they are large or small. Becoming the person you were meant to be may not be easy, but the rewards will increase your self-esteem. This will enable you to overcome whatever comes your way. Patience and not being afraid to change direction are the keys to keep you on your right path.

What are your biggest obstacles for achievement? How do you overcome them? I overcome my challenges by having a compelling reason to do something. This keeps me focused on my objective. I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: Want to stop indecision?

Want to stop indecision? This can definitely be a challenge for us highly sensitive people. Here are some thoughts about this very sensitive topic.

Stop the Indecision: How to Eliminate Bad Habits that Cloud Your Thinking By Luda Kopeikina

You know how you feel when you have a “light bulb” moment—when suddenly the solution to a problem becomes crystal clear. What if those were regular occurrences instead of elusive moments?

Many business leaders agonized over decisions. Big or small, we replay all the possible solutions to a problem over and over in our mind. We get so wrapped up in the problem that our brain often gets “stuck” and we can’t move forward. Sometimes the decision is easy, like which restaurant to take a client to, while other times the decision is much more difficult, such as whether to take a job transfer. Yet, when your mind is foggy and unfocused, even simple decisions can seem impossible.

Why are some of these seemingly “easy” decisions so hard to make? It’s not the decision itself, but rather the state your mind and body are in when you are faced with making one. You need to be relaxed, balanced, and focused to be able to easily make the right decisions every time. Additionally, we often engage in daily habits that make reaching clarity and a good decisions near impossible.

When you’re in this proper mental state, all the facets of your mind and body come together in the right balance. You can think positively and clearly and reach a quick conclusion. You’re able to overcome any habits that hinder your decision-making process. How? By being:

Physically relaxed;

Emotionally positive, happy, and released from fear and anxiety;

Charged with power, success, self-confidence, and energy;

Totally in the present;

Mentally focused on the task at hand.

This is called being in a “Clarity State.” How often are you in the Clarity State? With the stress of everyday life and the many demands you have on your time, falling out of balance is easy. Add in the deadlines that usually accompany decisions, and the pressure to perform makes achieving your Clarity State even tougher. Learning methods of reaching the Clarity State when you need it the most is the critical step to stopping indecision and making better decisions.

In addition, watch for these three bad habits that can quickly sabotage your clarity and your decision-making skills.

Bad Habit Number One: Multi-Tasking: In most business positions, multi-tasking is considered an essential skill. The problem with multi-tasking is that you never completely focus on anything. If you’ve ever tried to conduct a phone call and read an email at the same time, you know you will either miss comprehending parts of the conversation or parts of the email. You can’t fully concentrate on two things at once. Something suffers.

Instead of multi-tasking, whenever possible, try doing consecutive tasks. Concentrate fully on one item before moving onto the next. Set a timer if you need to. By concentrating solely on one item, you will be able to get through your to-do list more quickly than if your attention is scattered. And the less scattered you are throughout the day, the better you’ll be at reaching clarity and making decisions.

Bad Habit Number Two: Being Competitive with Others: Compete only with yourself. Push yourself to excel at your job, learn new skills, and develop new talents. The sky is the limit with what you can achieve. However, don’t compete against others. You have no control over how smart or ambitious or connected someone else is, so don’t waste your energy focusing on it. If you do, you will add unnecessary stress to your life and function at less than optimal capacity.

For example, if you have your eye on a promotion, don’t focus on “winning” a promotion over your co-worker; instead, concentrate on becoming an ideal candidate for the job. Find out what skills and leadership qualities are necessary to excel in that position and learn them. Do your research, brush up on your knowledge, and invest your time in self-improvement—not worrying about your competition. You can’t control who gets the job, but you can make yourself a strong candidate. Even if you don’t “win” the position, you’ve learned some marketable skills.

By leaving competition out of the picture, you perform at your best. Additionally, you remove stress from your life and make the clarity state more attainable.

Bad Habit Number Three: Working Constantly: Through technology, we are better connected to our jobs now than ever before. This is both a blessing and a curse. Our work is with us all the time. Cell phones, pagers and laptops make it all too easy to work when we shouldn’t be. You need to save some mental, physical, and emotional resources to regenerate, think, and strategize for the future. A workaholic tendency prevents us from taking time to contemplate, focus our minds on critical issues, and use our full brain capacity to develop creative solutions. Our mind never gets a rest.

We need to change this “working all the time” trend today. Make yourself unavailable as often as you can. Resist the urge to “just check email” five times a day when you’re on vacation. Let your phone calls go into voice mail. Stepping away from work will do wonders for your energy level and concentration. You’ll quickly find that a relaxed mind makes better and quicker decisions every time.

Eliminating Indecision: Clarity State is the state of coherence required for improved cognitive performance and good decision-making. Start learning methods to attain the Clarity State, and beware of the bad habits that could sabotage your efforts. Concentrate on one task at a time, compete only against yourself, and take time off work to recharge and refresh your mental battery. When you consistently achieve your Clarity State, you will be able to make decisions much more quickly and with much less stress. Now, your light bulb moments will become common occurrences.

Keeping a clear mind and being focused is very challenging to me, but it’s very doable. I’ve learned to focus my energies on the problem at hand and not let my mind wander in different directions. This allows my mind to be clear so I can make a decision with the information that I have. It’s important to remind myself that I can make adjustments as necessary when needed. How do you cope with indecision? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: Do you need tips to be a more confident person?

Do you need tips to be a more confident person? Here are 8 ways to be a more confident person from the Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC), an invite-only organization comprising the world’s most promising young entrepreneurs.

1. Strengthen your mind.

Self-confidence is a state of mind that can be achieved through intentional action. Allotting time to nurture your mind, body and spirit (preferably one hour a day) can be done in a variety of ways. I prefer to read, exercise and meditate in the morning. If you’re not taking time for yourself, then you’re allowing someone or something to shape your view of the world.

—Dustin Cucciarre, BryghtAds Inc.

2. Discard the negative thoughts you don’t need.

A whole new branch of psychology is dedicated to mindfulness, but it boils down to this: Negative thoughts and insecurities pop up like pimples. And, like pimples, picking at them—even if you mean to discredit and burst that negative bubble—ultimately makes it worse. So, mindfulness practice teaches you to treat thoughts as tools. Use and strengthen the ones you need; discard the ones you don’t.

—Manpreet Singh, TalkLocal

3. Live a lifestyle of personal growth.

Putting yourself into courses or professional relationships that force you to grow ensures that you’re always expanding, which in turn generates confidence and humility. From therapeutic programs to leadership programs to physical programs, committing to this kind of regular growth and showing up and being fully present are the keys to confidence.

—Corey Blake, Round Table Companies

4. Learn about impostor syndrome.

Many professionals will at some point experience a psychological phenomenon known as imposter syndrome, complete with feelings of inadequacy and a fear that everything accomplished to date has been through sheer luck. To overcome this, learn to internalize accomplishments. Peer groups are a great place to talk it out and build confidence.

—Joel Holland, Video Blocks

5. Dress for success.

No matter what level of business you’re in, it’s important to dress for the client you want, rather than the client you have. There’s this idea of working from home in PJs. The most successful people get up early and dress like they’re off for a day at the office, and it’s reflected in their attitude. When you look good, you feel good and you’re more confident, too.

—Nicole Munoz, Start Ranking Now

6. Take an improv class.

Improv classes make you think on your toes in front of an audience. Being on stage helps grow your confidence; being in front of crowds teaches you how to think and react quickly—all things that translate well to a boardroom or public speaking opportunity.

—Brooke Bergman, Allied Business Network Inc.

7. Produce a high-quality personal brand.

I believe that a key component to building self-confidence is in publicly building one’s own brand. This can be done through the creation of high-quality content like blog posts, e-books, podcasts or video content. Even if it doesn’t receive much traction initially, the fact that you have a body of work that you are proud to refer others to can make a big difference in your self-confidence.

—Joshua Dorkin, BiggerPockets, Inc.

8. Recognize your value outside of your work.

Your self-confidence needs to be rooted in who you are completely outside of your success in business. So find ways to get connected with yourself and grow. Perhaps volunteer, do pro-bono work, meditate, work out, read, hang out with friends. Whatever it takes for you to see your value regardless of how well [you’re doing professionally].

—Darrah Brustein, Network Under 40 / Finance Whiz Kids

I’ve found that the more I know and understand myself, the better I feel about myself and the happier and more productive I become. Do you have any tips to be a more confident person? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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#Highly Sensitive People: A salute to nurses!

Who are invaluable resources in the health care system? The answer to this question is NURSES!

I’ve found nurses to be selfless, giving, and very caring people. Ten years ago, they made my stay in the hospital, when I had pneumonia, more bearable and were excellent sources of information and comfort in a system that can sometimes feel cold and uncaring. As a highly sensitive person, I really appreciated that. They can also give you the “inside scoop” on doctors and hospitals.

Since nursing is a helping profession, it might be a good career choice for HSPs to consider. Nurses work in many different types of environments and help people of all ages. They protect, promote, and help optimize health. Alleviating suffering is a very important component of their very important work. If these words resonate with you, you might want to get more information about this much-needed and important profession.

National Nurses Week begins each year on May 6th and ends on May 12th, the birthday of Florence Nightingale, (1820-1910). The English nurse became known as the founder of professional nursing, especially due to her pioneering work during the Crimean War (1853-1856). Due to her habit of making rounds at night, Nightingale became known as “The Lady with the Lamp”, to raise awareness of the important role nurses play in society.

Advocating, leading, caring” – the slogan of the American Nursing Association (ANA).

On National Nurses Day celebrations and receptions are held across the United States to honor the work of nurses. Among the most popular activities are banquets, state and city proclamations, and seminars. Many nurses receive gifts or flowers from friends, family members, or patients.

Here is a tribute to nurses:

“The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest.” — William Osler

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.” — Gibran Khalil Gibran

“As a nurse, we have the opportunity to heal the heart, mind, soul and body of our patients, their families and ourselves. They may not remember your name but they will never forget the way you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

“To do what nobody else will do, in a way that nobody else can do in spite of all we go through, is to be a nurse.” — Rawsi Williams

“When you are a nurse, you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours.” — Anonymous

“Nurses dispense comfort, compassion and caring without even a prescription.” — Val Saintsbury

“Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy … nurses are rarely short on caring.” — Sharon Hudacek

“Nurses are the heart of healthcare.” — Donna Wilk Cardillo

“It would not be possible to praise nurses too highly.” — Stephen Ambrose

“Save one life, and you’re a hero. Save a hundred lives, and you’re a nurse.” — Unknown

“Nurses may not be angels, but they are the next best thing.”

Have you been helped by a nurse? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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